Who's Next?

It's All Downhill From Here...

With the unemployment rate declining at such a cataclysmic velocity, what I’m most apprehensive about is the burden that my fellow New Jersey-ans may have to face by having to depart their vehicles and pump their own gas!For as long as I remember, my family, friends and fellow NJersy-ans on no account have had to step out of their temperature controlled vehicles to execute the mundane assignment of having to pump their own gas..... and what comes with it, especially smelling like shit throughout the day. It is absurd for it even to be a discussion, however with job losses approaching new highs, who knows which jobs will be cut next?

Imagine this....

Our friend Mitch.... eating a jr. bacon cheeseburger, fries and a frosty in one hand while maneuvering his vehicle with the other. He’s guiding his electric blue stallion into the Valero gas station on route 9 south, Marlboro. He puts the car in park, undoes his seatbelt, and sinks his teeth into his deliciously scrumptious .99 piece of heaven. He looks out the window, but no one seems to be approaching. Humored by the situation, Mitchell presupposes that the gas attendant is simply using the bathroom or what not, and returns back to his reclined position. The nest 3 minutes are spent churning his Chocolate Frosty with a multiple licked spoon (provided by his wet and juicy tongue.... Mmmm) Minutes pass and still no attendant has drawn closer to the aid of our relaxed and content friend. He takes a quick glance to the station behind him and notices that the man who’s driving the mini-cooper behind him has stepped out of his vehicle and is pumping his own gas (DuN DuN DuN)! Mitch immediately begins choking from bewilderment on his JBC and Frosty and can’t believe his eyes. “Is this true?” he asks himself. “Has the time really come when I can’t relax and enjoy a burger and fries while a man pumps my gas for no fee, tip anything! “Preposterous,” he screams!He takes a minute or two to ponder the situation and comes to a conclusion. “I am going to sit here until someone pumps my gas!” And he sat, and sat, and sat.....

Anyway you get the point. The story can finish however you’d like it to but the fact is I couldn’t keep talking about Wendy’s before I literally sliced my own ass for bacon. So the point is with unemployment going in the direction it’s going we, as Americans, cannot be too sure who will be laid off next.